


A Trivial Ending

by The_Little_Sun



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Dissociation, Ford Pines Has Issues, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Paranoid Ford Pines, Pre-Portal Incident (Gravity Falls), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, this is not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23409028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Little_Sun/pseuds/The_Little_Sun
Summary: There are holes in his chest and a parasite in his head and he thinks that maybe he knew nothing at all.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	A Trivial Ending

**Author's Note:**

> It's 3 am and things are hard and I don't actually know how to write well.

He doesn’t believe in an afterlife. Perhaps it was because he's seen so much  _ wrong _ and not enough  _ good _ . Maybe it was because there were holes in his chest and a parasite in his head, and wouldn’t an empty--

Silent

Void be so much better?

The dark scares him and the light burns him. There was no gray for him to live in.

In the end, he is  _ wrong _ .

He is  _ consumed. _

Voices in his ears and someone else’s words on his tongue and sometimes, sometimes he couldn’t feel his heartbeat  _ beat bea _ t in a chest that was no longer his. The scars on his arms only linger for so long and the rope burns his palm and maybe its the closest he’s gotten to  _ human _ in thirty years, but he’s just so tired.

Tired of his--

His thoughts spiral with the dust and the metal sings his transgressions. It is a broken wonder, a thing of beauty so fragile and slight, and yet it hums with power and he longs for it.

Water coils around his knees and it lures him deeper. Monsters swim below the surface and he wishes to join them because

He

Is

One 

Of 

Them.

And it’s an injustice, maybe, but he isn’t sure of anything anymore.

He wakes up and there’s a bottle on the desk and it’s empty like its siblings. He thinks he didn’t keep it down again because by now he should have drowned.

Yet he still floats and the rocks tied around his waist are not enough.

One day he thinks that he can beat it. The water is at his ankles and the monsters have retreated. The bottles are shattered. All the rope is burned. The eyes are gone and the voices have silenced and maybe maybe maybe he can dream again.

So he says, “Please come.”

And then the water is choking him and the empty bottles float by his head and there is rope around his waist and it coils higher and his heart has stopped beating. 

He stops breathing.

There are monsters at his door. 

So he tries to say, “Go away. Go away. Go away.

GO AWAY.” But no one listens. 

Who listens to mons--

Who listens to frea--

Who listens--

Who listens to dead men?

It’s in his head, in his eyes, in his thoughts, in his voice and it turns the gray to gold and he hates it. He hates it.

He wants it to be gray. He wants it to be quiet. He wants it to be gone.

There is abuse under his shirt and purple under his eyes and his belts aren’t enough anymore. But maybe it’s okay. He doesn't know. He never really knew.

So he faces the tormented metal and the memory dust. There are rope burns on his palms but it’s okay. 

He thinks.

He isn’t sure.

But it will be okay.

He believes that because there is no room for mons--

For frea--

For--

His foot knocks the chair.


End file.
